Above: April 3 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.
This is the April 3 entry in my 2012 fake journal. A transcript of the text follows. The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.
Transcript:
There are many ways to fade. Simple silence works for me. Will visited this morning and who is to say this new dour-faced, non-joking man, thick around the middle, stooped, who has given up all hope of meeting ninjas is not the normal Will? Not I. Too long an absence. He talked about his parents. Aren't they mine as well? Oh I forgot—I've faded. And his wife and children. They all have "full lives." "Fulllives" said as one syllable so no devil can make merriment in the spaces. He talked about his childhood. Wasn't it mine as well? Not any longer. The important dates in memory contained at first a ghost image of me and by his departure even that image had faded. And he was relieved. Now I will have to rely on other alibies [sic] for childhood indiscretions—no when you fade you can't be held accountable because you weren't there when Randy broke his leg, or Sylvie lost the dog. Somewhere you had an alternate hybernation—and it made it simple to move into the final fading. Now Will's stories are all about strangers with whom I shared little space, scarce time, and no blood.
[Image caption] April 3, 2012 1:10 p.m. window #13 cloud fading even more as it dries here.
Wow, Roz, reading the Transcript sent some chills up my spine. So much it resonates with some experiences of my life.... I want to say it's uncanny, but I am not sure it is that.
ReplyDeleteLa Poeta, I'm glad you're having a response to this journal. It has been an interesting one so far for me. You'll find out more about how this person has faded by the end of the month—and why.
ReplyDeleteI hope, since you say it resonates with your life that you've found other spaces to be in.
Thanks for writing.
This is very powerful.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite lines is when you say,
"Fulllives" said as one syllable so no devil can make merriment in the spaces. "
Thank you Gallery Juana, I think that's one of my favorite bits too. It describes who this character is and who she isn't to her family. Thanks for reading!
ReplyDelete