Keeping Your Momentum Going

Above: A photo of my fake journal at the end of day 11 (yesterday). You can see how the pages are rippling beneath the watercolor use, but unlike other lightweight papers this water resistant paper is really sturdy. The book won't even close unless you put something on top of it. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

We're on day 12 of International Fake Journal Month. Time to talk about momentum.

Yesterday was International SketchCrawl day and to celebrate I met with a bunch of "sketchy" folks at the Como Park Zoo and Conservatory. You can see a photo of the group and as people get things scanned, some sketches from the day, at Twin Cities Sketchers. (Later today you'll also be able to see some of my thoughts on SketchCrawl at Roz Wound Up.)

I bring up this event here to make an encouraging point. It was a long and busy day of sketching—I participated in the full day, arriving at Como at 9:50 and leaving just minutes before 4 p.m. so I could get to Cafe Latte for cake! Despite the refreshments at Cafe Latte I returned home at 6:45 p.m. a bit dehydrated and very, very tired. (I've been recovering from an ankle and foot injury—walking and standing all day was a bit strenuous.)

I had one more task to do, however, before I could rest: I still had not done a day 11 entry in my fake journal.

I believe in being kind to yourself. Sometimes you just have to say "enough." But there is also a point where you have to push yourself even if you think you are really tired, even if you know you aren't going to get the best page ever. Sometimes it is just important that you work through the task, accept the results and move on, because all of those steps make you more prepared for the next task, better prepared. (And this is true of things beyond journal pages.)

That was the way it was yesterday. I had a page spread quota to meet and I was going to meet it. Instead of diving right in I drank 3 glasses of water and put my feet up for 30 minutes. Then I drank some more water and launched into the page spread.

I actually turned to my real journal for help in accomplishing this task. I needed a reference for a penguin and I had just spent time at the zoo sketching them. I based my fake journal sketch on my penguin work earlier in the day (I'll write about this later when I am showing page 11 in order).

I ended up with a drawing I was really pleased with, and more time to really absorb what I had seen at the zoo, when I was sketching the penguins.

So, I want to encourage you, even if you are exhausted from other events during your day, even if your family has been pulling you in all directions, even if you think you are too tired to draw one more drawing, just go for it. You'll be pleasantly surprised. And your internal critic will be very pissed off.

Something to think about, when that internal critic starts harping on you about your fake journal (or any project for that matter that plays out over time)—how can you talk back?

If you look at the photo of my fake journal at the start of this post you can see that the pages are starting, at day 11, to add up. Take heart in that. Point it out to your critic if you have to.

When I am involved in a long-term daily project, whether it is a year-long project (like my Correspondence Labs project when I wrote a letter a day), an on-going project like my Daily Dots (which after the first year I had no idea how long it was going to last), or a month-long project like A bird a day painting project or the IFJM journal, I break things down into to component parts—weeks, months, even hours if it is a weekend project. Then I look at what I have already accomplished and tell myself, hey, I'm 1/8th of the way finished, or I'm 1/3rd of the way finished, or whatever.

Last night I looked at the fake journal sitting on the scanner where I had left it, sprung open, unable to keep itself closed. My first thought was how yummy the pages were with all the crinkles. My second thought was, that's 10 days down, I'm already 1/3rd of the way through. If I do my 11th spread today I'm over that hump.

I didn't need to talk to myself any more about it. Sure, I can think of a couple scenarios where I would have given myself a pass, but I'd really have to struggle to think one up.

Here's the deal, and I want you to think about this if you are working in your fake journal (or any journal for that matter, or any project) and thinking about stopping, and letting it go:

It is always easier to just do a thing than to spend any time talking yourself out of it.

In other words, in the amount of time you might spend talking yourself out of doing your project you actually could have finished it.

Which would you like to look back on at the end of the day? All of the time you wasted talking yourself out of something, or all of the stuff you finished?

Don't worry about the quality of that stuff. There are good days and bad days. There will be days when you look at your work table and want to cry because it all looks like crap. But don't cry on those days. (In fact don't cry period.) Just keep on going because all those pieces are merely the cost of keeping current, the price you pay for doing a little bit better tomorrow. The entry fee which is non-refundable, but does pay back with interest even if you don't notice it a first.

If you put in your time there will also be days when you look at your work table and want to cry because something there is more beautiful than your last piece, better than anything you have ever done. (Don't cry then either, just keep working!)

Today, even if you are tired, even if you are busy enjoying the wonderful spring weather, take 10 minutes and work in your fake journal (or your regular journal). Make an investment.

Fake Journals: Jana Bouc Sent in a Sample!

Above: journal page artwork ©Jana Bouc. Read more about her fake journal adventure below. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Jana Bouc has written to share her fake journal with me and enter the contest. She has a great idea on how to build her fake journal. I think it is always a great idea when you can make the fake journal have a game or playful aspect to it and she has found an interesting exploration tool, linking music and self-discovery that will help to keep her fake journal author motivated all month. (I love that all the songs have the same title.) Here are Jana's comments:

I’m filling a journal this month as a woman who doesn’t know who she is and is trying to find out. (Maybe she’ll learn how she lost her memory too.) I started by Googling “Who Am I” and clicked the first link, a YouTube video by Casting Crowns which inspired the rose and waves besides my pondering self.

Since Google led me to a song, I followed that lead to iTunes and found more than 100 songs named “Who Am I.” I shall play detective, listening to each song, reading the lyrics looking for clues to who “I” am. I'm looking forward to Snoop Dogg's "Who Am I" day. As I write and draw what I learn I’ll fill the journal and by the end of the month may have discovered my true identity.

I'm also pasting the lyrics to the songs in the journal and have exported the list of songs and artists from iTunes to an Excel spreadsheet to better track which I've used.

If the text is unreadable it says:

"Who am I? I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind."

Fifth Page Spread from Roz's IFJM Journal

Above: Day five in the month and it's an image of a dead Downy Woodpecker. (Ziller acrylic ink with dip pen, Schmincke pan watercolors, in the Alvin Fieldbook.) Click on the image to view an enlargement.

As the caption says, this is my journal entry from day 5. I've been doing a page spread a day and as of today (April 10) have nine completed, with plans to sketch later today. If I keep the one-spread-a-day pace I will completely fill the book, which would be fun.

I will post a photo of the completed journal at the end of the month because you really need to see this thing, it is warped and bulging beyond belief and makes the most wonderful crinkly noise when I flip the pages. (OK, I'm easily amused.)

For people who are reading along the text reads as follows:

Top of the page spread, across both pages:

09.04.05 4:30 p.m. Brilliantly sunny but he breeze makes me feel the chill. I'm still wearing my fingerless gloves when I'm outside.

A day of rest for Chuck means practice at the shooting range. He was pretty snide when he reminded me safety officers always trump artists. What do I resent most—the time spent on target practice developing skills I don't want and don't need if I have Chuck? The exposure to loud noises? The exposure to Chuck's dried fruit farts—he lives on dried fruit! All of the above?

I do like the 38 he picked out for me. It's light enough. I'm accurate with it. "It's hand-eye coordination," he said, "I'd expect it. It's what you do all day long." But my hand was still shaking when I drew this woodpecker…but I had to get some drawing in today. Used my loupe.

Hope it stands up to freezing.

Additional side notes Verso page:

JD-MPLS-090405A
requested held in freezer
until released.

Dead Downy Woodpecker found on sidewalk at 635 Erie. (Male symbol.)
Yellow ochre bits with gray black flipside. Need my gouache to work on this properly…Downy white feathers lining lower lid and part of the upper lid. Eye socket all skin.

Additional side notes Recto page:

Need to lay in a gray base and then layer feather pattern in. Wisps of white some very dark shadow areas.

grayish.

An IFJM Contest

Left: T-shirts and a button will be awarded in the IFJM Contest. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Today I'm celebrating 6 months of daily posting on my blog Roz Wound Up.

It seems the perfect time to have a contest related to International Fake Journal Month. And that's exactly what I'm doing.

Please go to my post on Rozworks today, to check out the procedure for entering. It's not complicated, but there are some very specific guidelines you need to follow.

Whether or not you take time to enter the contest I hope that you are enjoying your fake journal experience. Take a moment to keep me posted on how it went at the end of the month.

A Look into Anne Bray's Fake Journal

Above: A page spread from Anne Bray's 2009 Fake Journal, ©2009 Anne M. Bray. Read below for details. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Anne Bray sent in the above page spread from her 2009 fake journal. (Note that when you visit her blog, some of the page spreads will have adult content. Her entries have been inspired by the poems.)

She explained she is

repurposing Leonard Cohen's "Stranger Music" while "I" [the author of the fake journal] follow his spring 2009 tour—"I" may even continue this into the summer when he goes to Europe. This was my 2nd page spread, I am still working out media—I found the gel stick pen is a little too harsh and bleedy for writing on the back side of pages, though it looks good.

I’m having a blast going on a fantasy road trip. So far, the tour is on roads I’ve traveled many times—when they get to Canada, it’s to places I’ve never been, which will be even more fun. Journaling a parallel life has given me permission to draw from my memory or imagination (saguaro scene)—something I never do "normally." I’m also allowing myself to do "whatever"—doodles, patterns, illustrations of Leonard’s poems, experiment with media—all very liberating.

It's great to hear that the experience has been a positive one for Anne. I loved seeing the first page spread she put up on her blog. I love the simple and free sketches that she is doing in the pages of this book of Cohen's poems. Anne will finish the month not only with a fake journal but an altered book journal. Double fun!

Some More Thoughts on Fake Journals

Above: the fourth page spread in my IFJM journal. Ziller Acrylic ink with dip pen; Schmincke pan watercolors. Alvin Field book with water resistant pages. Click on the image to see an enlargement.

Something to consider as you go along in your fake journal—what are things that you can include which are "normal," and give a sense of life as usual even in unusual circumstances? For instance the person keeping the journal presented here is a voracious reader, frustrated by the lack of reading material. This isn't stated in the journal yet and perhaps won't be. But one of the things this person does is note down quotations from material that she is currently reading (e.g., a quotation from the New Yorker on April 2).

What do you do normally in your journals? What types of things do you note down? Weather, books, news items? Are these things of interest to the author of your fake journal? If so consider including some of them from time to time. If these items don't interest your author, what items do? No one keeps a journal without pet interests (even if that pet interest is a pathological self-interest). Consider what those interests are for your author and let them appear in your fake journal. This creates "normalcy" and creates a new reality.

You'll also notice in my pages that I'm not concerned about misspelled words or crossings out. Of course this doesn't bother me in my real journal either, so maybe that's not saying much. My point is, don't let worries about spelling and such slow you down.

At the start of this post you'll find the next spread in my fake journal. I didn't plan on posting all my pages from this year's fake journal, but I'm having so much fun with the paper in the Alvin Field book—then I thought, if I don't post them in order people won't get the sense of what's going on…So today at least I'm posting another in order. I would like to create a little "movie" with the pages turning at the end of the month. Maybe I can work that out. I'm buried beneath too many other projects and the idea of new software bothers me right now. Regardless of what happens at the end of the month, here at least is another installment, with a close-up crop at the end of this post.

The text of the page spread:
Across top of the spread: Roger, who looks totally worn down and used up (I read in his bio in the handouts that he's been in the corps 6 years), told me this morning there's still no word on my missing supplies. I gave him a list to send in for replacements. He laughed and said, "It's scratch as to which will show up first, the lost of the new." I just count mentally to ten and remember to breathe. I came out here to take my break with the turkeys. This guarantees peace and quiet because everyone else avoids them…even the other team artists. Maybe it's just the gruelling [sic] boredom of orientation but no one here seems very friendly—not at all like Chicago—but since I'm sitting here alone with the birds maybe I need to ask if Chicago was all Gordie's doing?!; Second lunch bell—better jump. There's always fresh bread. The luck of drawing a Paris-trained cook!

Verso labels top to bottom: some kind of skin horn sort of wattle? look up… is this an immature tom?; splotchy skin and fine "hairs"; sun shining threw [sic] throat where stretched; *look in the old records for info on this flock and turkey related facts; 09.04.04 11: 55 a.m.; Outside the compound 2 of 6 turkeys feeding now.

Recto labels top to bottom: more stiff feathers and brown…less blue face skin; 12.05 p; not standing as still much more cautious very dishevelled—everything here is dishevelled. Is the fluffing of the neck fear? warning?

Right: Cropped close up of the turkey on the verso page. The watercolor use is clear. Also the bending of the paper which causes shadows when I scan. Click on the image to see an enlargement.

Some Points to Consider

Above: the third page spread from my 2009 fake journal. Ziller ink with a dip pen and Schmincke pan watercolors.

Several people have written in to me about IFJM and it is exciting to see the enthusiasm people are showing. Some people are posting on their blogs and Flickr sites. If you are participating and are posting your pieces somewhere please write in so that I can post a list. People ask me every day where they can see posted pages. You're sure to get encouragement to continue for the rest of the month.

In other matters there seems to be a bit of confusion for some people as to what a fake journal is. Just like a regular journal fake journals need to be written in the first person. The author of the journal is talking about what he or she is doing in the present moment: I couldn't see why Ted wanted me to take the umbrella; Rosemary may think spam is a picnic food but I sure don't.

If you are writing in the third person e.g., your journal keeper's name is Mary and you write, "Mary never understood why rain got her down," then you aren't keeping a fake journal, you're actually writing a bit of fiction. And that's fabulous too, in fact you may want to continue doing that instead of keeping a fake journal. But please be aware of the difference.

The difference is important, because journals are written in the first person (of course there may be exceptions to this because some people do walk around talking about themselves in the third person, but that's a rather strident affectation and unless you want to play with that all month and bore yourself silly, I recommend you not try that). Because journals are written in the first person, when you keep a fake journal you are giving yourself permission to be someone else and that's where part of the fun and freedom comes in. There is nothing between you and that other character because you are that character.

I hope this helps clear things up a bit for some folks who have been wondering and struggling.

Anne Bray on her blog Glutton's Progress has posted some pages from her fake journal. It's a wonderful example of writing in the first person and using an existing book (so it's an altered book fake journal). Check out her posts for April 5.

And I hope everyone who is keeping a fake journal is having a grand time of it.

Note: if you are trying to read my page spread text and can't make out all the words here's what's on the page.

Verso, top—Lots of yellows, ochres, and sienna under the gray; this ear split at top.
Verso, middle—nose not visible
Verso, bottom—a very disshelvelled (sp?) bunny; 09.04.03; 4:15 p.m.; feet not visible but white areas in that area.

Recto, top—another long day of orientation, while outside it was sunny and high 40's and brilliantly beautiful. On break—mid afternoon—I saw this bunny. He's got myxomata on his head…not visible until he turned towards me when I was through sketching him. We were told to expect this. The population is so large and with little raptor population left they have been expecting a die-off. They are also totally without fear of humans. It's not uncommon to see 10 around the compound. More meetings—
sunbleached area, this side of body

I Love this Alvin Field Book

Above: the April 2 entry for my IFJM journal. I'm using a soft-cover, 2-signature Alvin Field book. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Great news about the Alvin Field notebook, even the soft-covered version has sewn signatures. Now that I've been using the book for a few days, holding it in my hands as I work, I've been pressing into the spine and it is opening up ever so slightly and I can see the threads used to sew the signatures. I'm thrilled to know they are made so well.

But I'm happier still because the book is so much fun to work in. I'm using Ziller acrylic ink, Glossy Black, with a dip pen, and having a delightfully messy time. For watercolors I'm using Schmincke Pan watercolors. The pages buckle with the watercolor, but it's more a ripple than an annoying buckle, so you can keep on painting. It's fun.

I thought the Ziller Acrylic ink would dry faster on this paper than my Staedtler Pigment Liner test, but that hasn't been the case. I think the dip pen deposits an uneven thickness of ink and so there is a crust of dry ink that develops on the thicker strokes. When I come in with the washes that's where some bleeding will occur. But I'm blissfully happy even so. The journal is in part about totally disregard of neatness!

Some readers here or at my regular blog don't see the fakeness of this journal. I've asked friends here about that. The majority see what I'm doing as totally fake, but perhaps too subtle in the opening pages. We'll see, there is a story being told and it isn't me telling the story, that's all I really care about. If it works out in an interesting way, that's just additional fun. My fortuitous choice of journal to house this year's effort has already paid me back many times over in ways I couldn't have imagined.

For people trying to read the page:
Verso page, top: a quotation from the current New Yorker from a profile on Cheung Yan, a waste paper tycoon in China. It is about seizing the moment: "…We only have a certain number of opportunities in our lifetime. Once you miss it, it's gone forever."

Verso page, bottom: Find a way to make the ringbilled gulls look less meanacing. They don't look this menacing in person!!

Verso page, various notes, top to bottom: turning away; landing; white stripe on wing tip not shown; far wing; can't see details on the bill/beak; torpedo body.

Recto page, top to bottom:
09.04.02 3p.m. Target Parking Lot, Sunny 43 F. Very Breezy! Orientation lasted all through lunch so I'm glad of an opportunity to get out and check out what's around, even if it means taking my shadow Chuck!

View Roz's First Page Spread from Her 2009 International Fake Journal Month Journal

Left: a close up crop of one of the sketches on my first page spread. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

To view the first page spread of my fake journal for this year please visit today's post on Roz Wound Up. I write about the materials choices I'm making. You can also read the text on the first page spread (included at the end of the post), to begin to get a hint of who might be keeping this journal.

I discovered yesterday when I counted the page spreads in the Alvin Field Book I'm working in that there are exactly 30 page spreads to work on. (There would have been 31, but the last page was cut out as that was my tester sheet a couple weeks ago.) It's always good to count before you start in case you have a goal that needs a lot of pages. Happily, this leaves me with one spread for each day and that's more than enough. If I skip a couple days, that's fine too.

For me, I've set a limit of 30 minutes a day on this project. That should work out nicely. I just have to remember to pace myself with pages and with time!

Tips on Having a Successful International Fake Journal Month

Left: A button design I made for the project which will not be available as a button. Enjoy viewing it here. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Today is the first day of International Fake Journal Month.

I want to take a couple moments to give you some tips to make your participation successful and fun. Remember there are only two rules for participation 1. You must keep your fake journal in journal separate from your regular journal. The fake journal must be stand alone. 2. You must date your entries in present time. So an entry made today would be dated April 1, 2009, and the clock time. A date is needed on all entries. I encourage you to also put the clock time on each entry.

What’s Up for Grabs?
As the journal’s author you can be anyone you want to be (living anywhere, working in any profession that interests you).

That means you can 1. be yourself but the journal will contain fake happenings and events; 2. be yourself in another universe; or 3. be someone else. It’s what you want to do. Once you settle on an author that same persona creates all the entries.

Getting Started Select Your Journal
Select Your Journal
Since it is April 1 today I hope you have already made your selection. I recommend:

1. Using a thin journal (so that there won’t be lots of blank pages at the end of the month).

2. Select a journal that is portable so that you can have it with you all the time and make entries on the go. Let’s say you’re out and about and you see a dog. Well you can sketch that dog and then date and time your entry and make up something about the encounter to write next to it. Perhaps your persona doesn’t like dogs, this dog, rabid dogs?

3. Select a journal that contains paper you like to work on in a particular medium. If you plan to do the IFJM journal in pen and ink you might want to chose a journal with smooth pages for your pen lines. If you plan to use watercolor a hearty, water media friendly paper would be best.

Before You Make an Entry
Take a moment to think about the project before you jump in. It will ensure that you have a comfortable time with the new journal.

1. Make sure you know who the author of your journal is. If you aren’t the author you might want to jot down a little profile of the author in your regular journal. Some back story so you know what would or wouldn’t be in character for that person.

2. Decide who your audience is going to be. This is very important. For me almost all my past IFJM journals have been private, for an audience of one. The reasoning is very simple. My visual journal is already very public because I teach bookmaking and journaling. My students see my journals. Also I post my journal pages on my website and on my blog.

Typically I create my fake journal with a bit more privacy in mind. I want to be totally free in the creation. One year, for instance, I created two journals for this event using two hardbound copies of Plato’s Dialogues. Working in them with mixed media as I do in altered book journals, one volume was the journal of a female hitchhiker and the second volume was the journal of the driver who picked her up. Because I had no intention to share these journals or post them on my website I was able to explore the minds and concerns of the two journal keepers without any thoughts of polished writing, story line, or external judgement. The journals are very dark in content and theme. They stand as perhaps a rough draft of some other work I might do. If I had not viewed myself as the only audience for those journals I would not have ended up with the same results.

So think about what you would like to accomplish with your persona/author.

3. Decide where you are going to be (or travel around to different places).

4. Decide on the media you’ll use in your fake journal. To some extent you’ve already done this when you selected the journal you’ll be working in. This is the time to really consider the pros and cons of your choices. I recommend that you pick something portable and simple. Pencil, pen and ink, maybe a bit of watercolor wash. You don’t want to have a lot of extra stuff to carry around during the day. Also I have found if I keep the media simple I’m much more likely to take the time to make more entries. The flip side of this of course is if I am trying to break out of a particular method or journaling habit I might want to do something more elaborate. Also, if you elect to collage in your fake journal you might find that picking a particular time of day that you are at home will work best.

5. If you select a working method or medium for your journal that is either labor intensive or bulky to transport, and you are working at home on this journal, consider also setting a TIME LIMIT for each day. Remember, you have your real life to document as well. I think that 30 minutes a day is a nice time frame to consider.

Making Your First Entry
If you have thought about the items mentioned in this post the only thing left to do is begin. The best way to begin is in medias res, in the middle of things. Someone keeping a journal isn’t going to take the time to explain a lot of background and things about people in his life. All those bits of knowledge will come out as you work through the journal. Knowing what you know about the author of your fake journal, his location, and the audience (i.e., will the pages be private or will you post them) you can then just sit down and make your first entry. Go for it.

Tip: I find it helpful to start with a visual and when that is completed I write “nonsense” about the image I have created.

Continuing Along
Like any other journal you just keep filling the pages as you can, as you find time in your life, from now until the end of April.

A Word of Caution
This is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to let your mind wander and play. If you find that you are staring at the blank page and sweating, well that isn’t fun. Just stop. It isn’t worth it.

Also if your regular journaling habit is disappearing and that bothers you (some people see it simply as a month off) then you should stop as well. One of the goals of IFJM is to increase the likelihood that you have a regular journal habit when the month is over, not a struggling one.

Some ideas seem really fun when you hear about them but when you get into the execution of the idea it isn’t what you want to be doing. That’s when you just have to be kind to yourself and stop. Making yourself miserable for a month would be very sad indeed.

In the same vein, if you skip a day or two or more, don’t worry about it. Just do an entry when you can. The nice thing about your fake journal author is that he doesn’t have to be ruled by the same rules and judgments you subject yourself to every day. In other words have fun and don’t beat yourself up for taking a day or more off. (Remember I recommended thin books!)

Posting Your Pages
Several people have written to me asking if there will be a place to post pages from their fake journals. In response to these inquiries I created this blog. I will be posting pages from other people’s fake journals.

If you would like to post your pages on this site you need to do the following:

1. Send me an email at rozjournalrat@gmail.com

2. Subject line must read: IFJM Submission

3. Body of the email must be one paragraph about your page and one paragraph about the way IFJM is going for you. (TWO paragraphs, neither should be long. I may have to edit them down.)

4. Your name must be in the body of the text so I know how to write the copyright credit line that will appear with your image.

5. Attach a jpeg of your page/page spread. Jpegs should be saved at a resolution of 72 dpi and their largest dimension (either height or width) should be no greater than 800 ppi, and the file size should be less than 1.3 MB.

6. Pages should not contain offensive material. For me that means racist items, and child abuse/porn, gratuitous violence. I’m sorry I can’t be more specific than that. I’m really tolerant and like art in a lot of styles. A visual journal selection from someone stuck in a perpetual life drawing session (nude after nude after nude) would make the cut; people having sex—unlikely. (If someone is going to keep a voyeur fake journal then that might be a good one to keep and explore privately.)

Items coming to me in the above manner will be posted as I have time. I have no idea who will have an interest in posting this way so we’ll just have to see. Multiple submissions are fine. If you are sending a second or third or fourth jpeg then you might find yourself with very little in your text body on subsequent posts, and that’s fine too. I hope this post has given you some more support for your participation. Whether I see pages from you or not I would love to hear from you at the end of April and learn how your fake journal experience went for you. Thanks for participating.