April 21 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 21 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 21, 2012 10:05 p.

I have been sorting my books. When was I home long enough to accumlate all these boks? What is best done with them now? They form a library of min interests—ideas I devoured because of curiostiy or sometimes pique. Some books stand as reminders of my succubus days. The essential attraction of the adored they represent is forgotten. All that's left is this or that row of books—their essential interests…which for a time were mine. My life and mind mirror this library. There are reflections clear and dazzling of me, shelved with the contradictions I railed against and discarded. Collections are a dangerous tell.

[Image caption] April 21, 2012 6:55 p.  window #1 a break in the grey sky showed brilliant white clouds above…but mostly it was dark grey whispy [sic] clouds over lighter grey…

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.

April 20 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 20 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 20, 2012 9:10 p.

Today I asked Kelsey to focus this week on vision. I had suggested several weeks ago that she read Aldous Huxley's "The Art of Seeing." But now I want her to pay close attention to "unconscious vision"—not just the rapid reflex of sensing danger…which one should always cultivate. Nor the type Huxley describes as exhibited by "the man who threads his way through traffic…He has no distinct conscious awareness of objects around him, and yet his body behaves as though he were aware." that too is an essential skill to cultivate. But I want her instead to focus on the "most normal" kind—"all those parts of the sense field which we do not select for purpose of perception." In this way she will develope [sic] her editing eye. She has no awareness yet of how this relates to what she wants to say in her art. She remains vague, fuzzy and trite. 

[Image caption] April 20, 2012 3:57 p.  window #12 looking southwest. The cheap blue pigment bled up into my lovely cloud.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.

April 19 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 19 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

[Image caption] April 19, 2012 3:48 p.  window #12 looking straight out to where my lilacs have bloomed, reaching high over the fence and the neighbor's dead tree, which she chops at but never removes, pleads for mercy on the other side. Grey, grey day—crap blue paint still on the palette. Migraine.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The pencil used in the drawing is a Faber-Castell Albrecht Dürer Watersoluble Colored Pencil and the sky is rendered with gouache.

April 18 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 18 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 18, 2012 10 p.

I am ever grateful for my seemingly infinite capacity to entertain myself—anything and everything can interest me. I can study a rock for hours and not only enjoy its surface and its science but find myself hours later still wondering what role it played in history and who trod on it.

Coupled with my tolerance for routine it has been easy to rack up more hours on the indoor bicycle. It doesn't shift the same as my outdoor bike and the trainer's resistence [sic] wheel is not the same as road drag—but my hands are grateful to be spared the road noise. I continue to pedal furiously, going nowhere.

[Image caption] April 18, 2012 2:18 p.  window #3

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The pencil used in the drawing is a Faber-Castell Albrecht Dürer Watersoluble Colored Pencil and the sky is rendered with gouache.

April 17 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 17 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

[Quotation from Kevin Smith's Book, readable in jpg.]

Kevin Smith in "Tough Sh*t" p. 89 a bit of a confused point about being in the game of life with passion and quitting on one's own terms. But one always has to know where the puck is going to be. I am enjoying this book.

[Image caption] April 17, 2012 11:50 p.  window #12 outside the porch looking southeast.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The pencil used in the drawing is a Faber-Castell Albrecht Dürer Watersoluble Colored Pencil and the sky is rendered with gouache.

April 16 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 16 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 16, 2012 4:30 p. 

Busy day so far for visitors. Samantha stopped by to check on me. She looked very sour when she surveyed the damage, limited as it was. The appliance guy overlapped her visit. Everything is OK and no actual damage. I don't even need a new stove. I do on the other hand need a new pot. Pauly brought one by when he stopped in to have me sign some papers. He was full of last Thursday's news of the recovered Cezanne, stolen in 2008, Boy in a red vest. I have never liked this painting—or any of the existing versions so I couldn't join in his excitement.

[Image caption] April 16, 2012 window #1 11:26 a. pretty  much the view all around. That cheap cobalt (imitation) and lots of white—just to feel the thickness of the paint.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.

Less Than a Week Left in International Fake Journal Month 2012

I'll return to posting pages from my 2012 fake journal tomorrow—but today I wanted to take a moment to say "Congratulations!" If you have been working along on your own fake journal this month you are 7 days from finishing (if you count today!). That's huge. You set a goal and you've been working towards it.

Even if you have had to miss a day, or if you started late, I hope that you will take a moment today and savor the fact that you have been working towards your goal.

Then you need to get back to work!

And in the last 7 days there is still a lot of work to get done.

Ask yourself the following questions and think about your upcoming entries.

1. Is there a narrative going on and if so is it going to be open ended or will it wrap up?

2. If your narrative is going to wrap up think about what you need to get across in the next few days and make a couple notes. You aren't pre-writing anything, you're thinking about what might happen. Keep this list handy when you sit down and get into your character. Can he or she get some of those details down into an entry? If not, perhaps that's not really where you are heading and you need to listen to that.

3. Remind yourself what your goals for IFJM 2012 were when you started. Did you meet all those goals? Those goals may have been as straightforward as "make an entry each day," "draw with only this special pencil each day," etc.

4. If you have not met one or more of your goals ask yourself how you can still meet those particular goals before the end of the month. For instance, if your goal was to draw buildings but your character craftily avoided looking at buildings for the entire month, put him or her in a situation where she or he has to do that in 3 or 4 of the remaining entries. Go on, you can do it!

5. Are there questions about your character that have not been explored or answered to your satisfaction? Now is the time for him or her to write a little self-analysis in his or her journal?

This is just a short list of possible approaches you can look at in the remaining 7 (or 6 if you've worked in your journal today) entries of your fake journal. Don't end the month with regrets. Push your character to look at his or her life with renewed clarity.

And remind yourself you're almost at the end. Keep going!

April 15 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 15 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 15, 2012 7:30 p. 

All is calm and easy for me today. I love having an accountant. All is due tomorrow but it has already been taken care of. I have no tax worries at least.

[Image caption] April 15, 2012 1:40 p.  window #1 looking up. It stopped raining hours ago.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.

April 14 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 14 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 14, 2012 10:30 p. 

Embarrassment today with food and fire. Under nine minutes response time—I know because when the alarm went off I was looking at the stove and saw its clock, and I'd just flipped open my cell phone and seen its clock when police and fire arrived. They found me in the yard with a burnt pot of rice and my phone. (Embarrassment 10 fold—I haven't burned a pot of rice in 20 years.)

Response time not bad since the alarm company has to call—and they were quite hostile about why I didn't call first. So you try to hoist an extinguisher and dial and not get burned. Happily there is no real damage according to the firemen—except to my cooking pride. But even now, three hours later, there is a horrible smell in the house.

[Image caption] April 14, 2012 6:10 p.  window #12 on the porch looking west. A changeable day. All sunny and blue this a.m., then hazy grey, and now some darker clouds mixing in.

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.

April 13 in Roz's 2012 Fake Journal

Above: April 13 in the 2012 fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement. Read below for details.

Transcript:

April 13, 2012 7:15 p. 

Kelsey's tutorial today. SHe had fewer studies than I had hoped. She seems distracted and not applied. I suggested that she give up Twitter and Facebook and, gasp, even TV, for a month. That she use that time to focus on her studies, making sketch after sketch. That she even just sit alone with herself and think. That is the greatest luxury the younger generation has tossed away for internet connectivity, not privacy. You can always achieve a level of privacy simply by walking away, disconnecting. It may not be pristine or inviolate, but it's privacy that can be rebuilt. But I think when you miss those early days of listening to yourself you miss learning to recognize what yourself really sounds like. Then when you try to speak creatively it's just bull shit.

I'm thriving on my internet sabbatcial.

[Image caption] April 13, 2012 11:30 a. All windows a grey flatness which nevertheless glows. Raining all morning

The journal is a 7 x 10 inch handmade journal containing Nideggen paper. The pen used is a Preppy fountain pen. The sky is rendered with gouache.