The Button Situation and a Quick Update

Well here it is the end of May and this year's celebration is still not wrapped up. I wanted to let you all know what was going on. The first button company failed, so I had to try another. I expect to receive buttons today—but since they haven't sent me updates as they promised I'm wondering if that will really happen. EEEK. I'm feeling a little jinxed and a little worried. 

Don't you worry, however, if they don't work out I will try another vendor—in fact if you have a button vendor that you have used and like write in and tell me so I have a back up! There will be buttons. And when they arrive, of course the book prizes will go out too. Thanks to everyone—you're all being very, very patient. (I know I'm not.)

The only other news to report is that I have not been able to write about my 2010 fake journal experience yet. It has been difficult to pull my thoughts together while elements in my life pull me in other directions and we scramble to get ready for house guests. (It doesn't look good folks! Keep your fingers crossed on that for me will you?)

But I do have some things to say about my fake journal for this year, about how it actually changed my life in certain ways. So maybe check back after June 6 or so for that. The house guests will be gone, some other deadlines demolished, and I will be able to put my thoughts together. 

I hope in the meantime all your own journaling efforts have been going along well, whether fake or real.

Fake Notes for a Fake Journal

Left: The note that is attached to the front of my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

This note, written in fountain pen says: Lois, Please type attached note and copy file. Copy and sketchbooks to to Dr. Hammond at St. Claire's. PD


The note that is to be typed by this fictional Lois is attached to the first page of the fake journal with a dog bone paper clip. (Why shouldn't PD have interesting paper clips? If you have to ask maybe you shouldn't be creating fake journals?)


I wanted the handwriting on the two handwritten notes to be totally non-recognizable as my writing, so I had Dick write them with his fountain pen of course. (It struck me that PD would use a fountain pen too.)

Left: The note attached to the first page of my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

This note, written in fountain pen on a sheet of gridded paper can be read if you click on the image. Again, I enlisted the aid of Dick to complete the last bit of fakery for my 2010 fake journal.

The note explains the background of the author of the fake journal—as much as it can be known given her particular circumstances. 

Pressing deadlines keep me from doing my final write up as I'd hoped. This year's fake journal was an incredibly difficult experience for me intellectually—as it brought up a number of issues I really didn't want to think about at this point in my life. It was incredibly easy to execute from an illustrative point of view however.

Now that you at least have these notes you can put the rest of the journal in context. I'll be back next week to discuss what happened. 

The Thirtieth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the final sketch page in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

This is the last page in my 2010 fake journal executed by the "author." All that's left are some "notes" that go with the journal by another "fake" author. (I tell you, once I get started on fakery—well it's a slippery slope.)

I'll post those tomorrow, and with luck have some time to write about all this. Today the "Got Junk" folks are coming and I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. I keep pacing! 

The Twenty-ninth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-ninth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Here is one more installment. We're close to the end. I'll be wrapping it up during the beginning of this week and then trying to put some more thoughts together. (ARGH—it has been so chaotic here.) Thanks for your patience as I weave my way through a maze of interruptions! Go see How to Train Your Dragon—in 3D—today. I wrote about it on my regular blog (use the link). Have a great day.

The Twenty-eighth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-eighth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Moving closer and closer to the end of my fake journal. No time this weekend to wrap it all up, but it's coming. The oddest thing about posting these images now is that they seem like they were done a lifetime ago. My mind has moved completely back to my regular journal. I do miss my time spent drawing faces—sadly events keep cropping up to keep me away from life drawing group, which is where the best opportunity for a "still" person is to be found. I have to mark off those evenings as taken! Time to take stock of my commitments.

The Twenty-seventh Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: The twenty-seventh entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

A whirlwind of days, I wonder how I managed my regular journal and my fake journal in April which now seems so long ago! Today I've been posting wrap-ups about the MCBA Visual Journal Collective's sketch out at the Shepherd's Harvest Sheep and Wool Festival. You can check it out on Roz Wound Up and that will lead you to the additional post on Urban Sketchers—Twin Cities, where you can see additional work by me along with Karen Engelbretson and Suzanne Hughes. (It was a cold and sleeting day so participation was low!) 

I hope you've been finding fun and challenging visual journaling opportunities in May!

The Twenty-sixth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-sixth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

A series of small family "emergencies" has eaten up my time for today. All I can do right now is push forward with the individual page scans. No thoughts on journaling except to say—make some time to do it today, it can save your brain when everything seems chaotic!

The Twenty-fifth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-fifth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

I'm having trouble with Blogger today so I'm just trying to see if I can get another entry posted and continue to play catch up. More wrap up stuff later. I hope you are all transitioning back to regular journaling smoothly!

The Twenty-fourth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-fourth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

I'm still playing catch up with my posts, and juggling deadlines, so today there is just one more entry for you to check out. This ended up being one of my favorites in the project. My character was very interested in the profile line and earlobe of this person. Eyes, ears, and profile tended to be a constant source of interest, but this earlobe was fascinating to her. And by extension, me. The lobe came out of the ear almost like a large flap. Now that I've seen one like this I'm seeing more of them around and it's very exciting!

The Twenty-third Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the twenty-third entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

As part of the wrap of of International Fake Journal Month 2010 I would love to hear from participants about their experiences. Some of you have taken time to write a note to me on Facebook or this blog. Others have written a post about their experiences and posted on their blog. I've also contacted people who participated last year directly about this. 


If you have written about your experiences on your blog would you please take a moment and send me a link to that post? I would love to create a post with links to those "wrap-ups."


I think it is important that people coming to fake journaling and the celebration of International Fake Journal Month, find comments from other journal keepers who have recently started doing this. I would like them to hear other voices—even if your experience was difficult.


I write about my experience with fake journaling, regular journaling, and my observations of students and their experiences, but it's only one part of the picture. I think with a more complete picture more people might be convinced to give it a go. Newcomers might be overwhelmed by the links and the volume of pages to go through in participants' journals, but having a "wrap-up" page of links will help them see some of the benefits or problems and then put the pages in a context for them. So let me know if you've blogged about your "wrap-up" experience.

Did I Miss Color?; the Myth of Time; and The Twenty-first and Twenty-second Entries in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: The twenty-first entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

As some of you will see I've had to change my highlight and caption text color. A small thing, irritating to me, but not irritating enough for me to bother to switch over to using html codes all the time for something that occurs so frequently. But for those of you who did notice, now you know why.

I'm also trying to get used to the new way the images are handled. And in an effort to catch you all up to the end of my fake journal I have two images today.

Also, a participant wrote in the other day and asked me if I missed using color. I wrote a short answer back to her in the comment section (so much is going on I can't remember if it was on this blog or my main blog) and basically said no.

Well later I finished my work at the computer and got up to walk away. I bent to return something to a shelf and my eyes fell on a print from my 2009 fake journal (alternate Minneapolis, post-some sort of health disaster, all about birds). It was a page spread where many Canada geese move across a vibrant lavender background. The sloppy, drippiness of the washes on the water resistant paper barely contained by the glossy black ink lines, reminded me of how much fun I had last year with my fake journal and Schmincke watercolors over dip pen lines. For a moment I didn't miss color so much as I missed the subject matter and that small book with pages which crinkled (and still do) when turned. 

Left: the twenty-second entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

So in a way I think I answered too quickly, because I do miss that colorful experience. But in another way I know my answer was correct. I didn't miss color this year because color wasn't on the character's radar—and I had daily recourse to my regular journal if I wanted color. At the same time I was working on some acrylic paintings. Perhaps choosing a character who worked only with black pencil created a window for more color in other projects?


I have found that International Fake Journal Month has always opened up such windows. Intense focus on one project can have the salutary effect of encouraging the mind to apply similar focus to other projects running simultaneously. 


The myth of waiting until we have "the luxury of all the time we need" can seduce us into not using the time we have. Everyone has a point of overwhelm, but you won't find that point by doing one task at a time. I believe one of the benefits of IFJM is the way it can help people manage creative multitasking—help them find out the nuances of how they use their time, and then work to utilize their strengths or create strengths.


By taking your attention in one direction (for me this year: black pencil sketches) you open up the possibilities of simultaneous explorations in other directions. Or you simply get the use of a certain medium out of your system. That's good too.

Winners in the 2010 Contests and the Twentieth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: my twentieth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Congratulations to Kyra Sanders who won the draw for the Promotion Contest (for all those who put the Link-Button on their blogs).

Congratulations to Gina Mitsdarfer who won the draw for the Participation—Posted on Your Own Blog. (There was a subcategory for blogless folks who wanted to post on this blog but no one entered that portion of the contest.)

Both of these winners will be receiving one of the contest prize books. I have their postal addresses so as soon as the buttons are made I will be sending those out. (Gina and Kyra, you can expect a heads up post next week.)

Everyone else, whether you participated in the promotional aspect of International Fake Journal Month or participated by keeping a fake journal (or both), if you sent me your address with your entry (as requested) you will be receiving a commemorative button. (I hope to mail them next week.)

If you sent in an entry but didn't send your postal address you will have recently received an email from me asking for one. If you want a button, please reply. If I don't hear back I'll just assume you're not a button person (I know not everyone is and that's OK.)

Either way, I want to thank you all for your energetic participation in this year's festivities!

This week and next I'll continue to post the remaining pages of my fake journal and have some thoughts on my fake journal—as well as some explanations for all of you who have so patiently been reading along. I hope you'll check back for those posts. 

But even more important, start thinking about your 2011 Fake Journal!

Nineteenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: my nineteenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

I'm just playing around with the new composing window in blogger. I don't know how long they've had it, but I just noticed it while changing some other settings. The good thing about it is that it lets you load images differently. You used to have to load in reverse order as new images always appeared at the top of the post and that was very annoying for multi-image posts. But there are some other things I've haven't quite worked out yet so who knows how this will look. (Not sure I've got the right caption color for one.)

If something very strange appears when you visit please drop me a line to alert me!

In the meantime I'm going to keep posting these images, and will have more to say about them later in the week when I get through the contest business.

I hope you are having a good first few days post-International-Fake-Journal-Month. Is your new journal glad to have you back full time? Did it never even notice you were gone? Is it enthusiastic about your new approaches? (OK, I do tend to anthropomorphize everything.)

Note: one thing I've noticed in switching is that I can't get the same color for my caption color and special text. I'll have to use a different one until I find a way to get back to it and so far I haven't. Also setting the font got messed up going back and forth.

Fake, Fake, Fake—Layers of Fake: A Flip Through of Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Above is a short video flip through of my 2010 fake journal. Sadly the quality of the videos my tiny camera makes isn't such that you can read the post-it note on the cover or the handwritten note inside the cover—but those are all part of the fake journal. They were written by ANOTHER fake character, not the one keeping the journal. They'll appear in scanned form at the end of my individual posts of the pages.

For now you can see the wonderful distorted shape the APICA notebook took on during the month of April. And you can see all the pages from April 1 through April 30 in a quick flip through that will give you an overview of the project.

If the embedded video doesn't work please view the video of Roz's 2010 fake journal here.

Eighteenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: my eighteenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Sorry no little video ready yet. I didn't have time to set up the camera this morning—I went on a great, but windy bike ride. But I'll get to it soon.

In the meantime—here's the next image from my fake journal, if you have been "reading" along.

Remember—no rest for the weary today—turn to your regular journal full focus.

International Fake Journal Month Ends, and the Seventeenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the seventeenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Today is the final day of 2010's celebration of International Fake Journal Month. I finished my 30th sketch and the accompanying text this morning. The glue is still drying on the colored paper insert. Sometime tonight or tomorrow I'll take a little video of the completed journal and post it so that you can "page through it."

I'll still post the remaining images chronologically if you want to stop by and see them in more detail. Also those pages will give me a visual for a few more wrap up posts I will need to make—winners of each of the contests, some post-fake-journal-month notes about what I learned, that sort of thing. Maybe even a couple suggestions that will get you off the fence for next year's celebration?

But right now my focus has shifted to sorting through the two contest folders and making sure I have everyone in the correct folders, meeting the contest rules, etc. I was so excited to have so many people join in this year. I hope that it was a not overly stressful endeavor—in fact I hope it was challenging and fun.

I also am grateful for those who chose to promote the event on their blogs. I am hopeful each year that the project will grow and people spreading the word are a constant help to that.

I was so pleased with the participation on every level this year that I have decided to make a commemorative button (you all know I love buttons) and send it out to all the participants and promoters. So if you were a promoter who included your address in your email and posted the button link to this blog on your blog by April 10 and kept it up until May 3 you'll be getting a thank-you button in the mail. If you participated by keeping your own fake journal and you posted your entries on your blog and sent me links to five such entries (pages or spreads) over the course of April you'll also be receiving a thank-you button in the mail.

The participation contest is over today but I'll do a last check of the promotion blogs on May 3 and have the drawing for the two prize books also on that date. Book winners will be posted here on May 4, but I'll hold on to the books until I also have the buttons to send out at the same time.

So that's the plan for the next few days as the organizational end of this celebration winds down. I'll thank you all at least a couple times over the next couple weeks I'm sure. However, today I would not only like to thank you all for making this an interesting and visually stimulating fake journal month, but I would also like to congratulate you!

I want to thank you all for rising up to the challenge to push yourselves creatively in April 2010. The fake journal that you hold in your hands is a testament to your creative commitment. It doesn't matter if you have a few entries or 30 or 70. It doesn't matter if you filled your book or still have lots of empty pages. What matters is that you followed your intention to stretch your creative muscle and put that intention into practice in your already full life. You carved out time for yourself. You experimented with new media. You tested new paper and books. You listened to that inner voice that says softly "I want to say something." You let that voice be heard over your internal critic.

For some of you it was excruciatingly difficult. For some of you it was easy. For others it was deceptively easy. All of you have something to think about now—your creative process. What works, what doesn't, where do you want to go, what do you want your regular journal to be, how do you want to give voice to your creativity?

There aren't easy answers to any of these questions, and the answers will change over the course of your life. But when you complete a creative project of this nature you give yourself an opportunity to examine these questions and move forward in your life and art with intention instead of impulse.

Don't get me wrong. Impulse is great. But if you give impulse a little guidance by doing a little reflection on your creative process you are able to clear out a lot of clutter and find a sustaining satisfaction in your work.

Don't worry if your friends and family look at your fake journal and mumble, "What's up with that?" (Or worse, tell you "that sucks.") You don't owe anyone else an explanation—only yourself.

Don't worry if your fake journal isn't at the artistic level you set for yourself or to which you normally work. That's your internal critic coming up behind you to whisper in your ear and cause you to doubt yourself and question your intention.

Every page of your fake journal might be complete shit. You might have just created 30 pages of the ugliest sketches and paintings and idiotic writing on the planet—it still doesn't make your internal critic right. It's a step, one that you took, despite the chattering of that internal critic. Future steps will be easier because you took one. (And this will continue to be true every day you take such a step.)

You hold in your hands a document which says "I allowed myself to create; I allowed myself to take risks." I think creative risks are like loose rocks on a hillside. We scramble over them, slipping at times, at other times finding sure footing, so that we can get to the top of the hill and have a better view.

I think having a better view (of ourselves, our creative process, our place in the world, the larger world, the people in our world) is what regular journaling is all about.

My wish for all of you who participated in this year's celebration of International Fake Journal Month is that you take what you learned about yourself and your process and use what you learned to make your regular journal practice stronger, deeper, more challenging, and integral in your life.

Thank you for sharing your journals with me, and for allowing me to share mine with you.

This is the point where if you were all here in Minneapolis we would go over to Cafe Latte and have a piece of cake and laugh and share our journals, and ooh, and ahh. One of us, I'm not saying who, would probably even cry a bit. There would be absolutely no hugging (I'm not a hugger)—OK some of you would hug on the way out to the cars. I wouldn't be annoyed at all. We would all drive home with insanely crazy smiles on our faces. But we would drive carefully because the satisfaction of successful play had grounded us all.

That's what successful play feels like. It has weight and substance. It doesn't evaporate. You have a tangible reminder on your bookshelf right now. Remember that this year as you observe your real life. You can choose to have that feeling every day.

Congratulations on pushing yourselves creatively.

Preparing for End and the Sixteenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the sixteenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

On day 16 the author of my fake journal fell in love with this person's nose. I have to say I did too.

This morning, the author of my fake journal completed the penultimate sketch, and for me there's a definite tug—"What am I going to do on Saturday?" I know what's happening Friday when this wraps up. It became obvious about a week in, and then it became inevitable, then it didn't seem so, and then again it became so. But what about Saturday, with this time I have always set aside for the fake journal? It happens every year.

In my April 25 post I urged you to make plans for May 1. I'm repeating that urging so you know how serious I am.

In the past some participants have actually felt bereft when the celebration is over. And they miss their fake journal author.

Well, maybe, if you are very attached to your fake journal author he/she can write you letters during the year and stay in touch. You don't have to completely let them go. I'm a huge fan of writing letters and would love to see the illustrated letter make a come back—think about it.

Other participants are happy to see the fake journal authors pick up their tools and leave.

Regardless of how you feel about your fake journal author, please remember that May 1 is the perfect time to establish a useful and on-going switch of journal practices to carry forth in your regular journal. You get to take anything good that you unearthed and apply it forward in your regular journal. You get to leave behind anything annoying, unfruitful, and not useful—knowing that you learned in the process how to approach those "things."

If you worked hard in your fake journal all month, daily, or almost so, don't take a vacation on May 1—keep going. Life and journaling are in part about momentum. Keep the creative machinery clicking, keep it fed, keep your appointment with your creativity.

The "Urge to Finish" and the Fifteenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: fifteenth entry in my 2010 Fake Journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

While today's post only brings you up to April 15 in my fake journal, earlier today I finished sketch 28. With only two days left of International Fake Journal Month 2010 I confess there is a mixture of feelings in my mind (I've written about the melancholy). Most prominent is a sort of sense of urgency to finish co-existing with a desire to not finish.

The urgency comes because I work so quickly in general. Also I tend to set fake journal parameters so that daily time commitment is low and therefore sustainable through the month of April.

Now on April 28, with only two days left there is an urge to "just finish." (It wouldn't take that long after all.)

Resisting that urge and keeping "honest" in the execution of the fake journal within the context of fake journaling, is one way in which I school myself in pacing and try to improve that characteristic in myself as I age. I feel as if I'm holding my breath, but I know, from past experience waiting, that there are new revelations and new insights if I wait and let the process unfold.

So I take a breath and put the pencil away, until tomorrow. And take up my real journal…

Another Fake Journal Keeper Joins the Ranks, and the Fourteeth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the fourteenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.


I have a link that I'm adding to the participant list: Gina Lento.

Go and check out her fake journal. She started on April 19 and has been experimenting with different media in a new brand of commercially bound journal—that's just the type of thing that lends itself to useful fake journaling. Keep going Gina.

Keep Working and Don't Care—and the Thirteenth Entry in Roz's 2010 Fake Journal

Left: the thirteenth entry in my 2010 fake journal. Click on the image to view an enlargement.

Only four more days of International Fake Journal Month 2010. Hang in there. Keep working.

If people don't understand what you are doing or if they don't like what you are doing in your fake journal, embrace the fact that you don't care!

And if you do care—well spend some time in the next four days thinking about the freedom of not caring, the freedom to create from your mind and heart to please yourself and no one else.

Look at your fake journal this way—a journal full of that which you were pleased to make. Just 'cause!

You can feel that way about your regular journal too. When you do, a whole new world of fun opens up for you. It's just play. It's not work. And you are engaging yourself, your creative mind. Take some of that freedom back with you to your regular journal—a gift from your fake journal author.